Tuesday, August 21, 2012

On a lighter note, some terrible jokes





Stewart Francis 

I'm always happy when a Canadian wins something. And according to the BBC the Canadian comedian Stewart Francis has just won the 2012 Edinburgh Fringe festival's award for funniest joke.
But here it is: "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."

Da-dum.
In case you didn't get it -- I wouldn't blame you if you didn't -- it's because David and Victoria Beckham named their kids Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper Seven. (Harper Seven would be the baby daughter).
Dear god, all top 10 jokes are awful. They did such a good job with British humor during the Olympics. What happened? Here are some groaners.
  • 2. Tim Vine - "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. "
  • 3. Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."
  • 4. Rob Beckett - "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case."
  • 5. Chris Turner - "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don't know Y."
  • 6. Tim Vine - "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze."
  • 7. George Ryegold - "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating."
  • 8. Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!"
  • 9. Lou Sanders - "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad."
  • 10. Nish Kumar - "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism… she wouldn't fancy her chances."
I think these were all by men. If so, we need some more women comedians.

Foreign journalists threatened in China






The Foreign Correspondents' Club, Hong Kong (FCC), which counts me, Ulaca and Fumie among its tipsy illustrious members, often sends out statements regarding safety for journalists. But it's rare to see a co-statement with two mainland Chinese groups. I got this today in my inbox.
**
The Foreign Correspondents' Club, Hong Kong, Foreign Correspondents’ Club of China and the Shanghai Foreign Correspondents' Club are extremely concerned by a number of recent incidents in which international journalists have been threatened, harassed and even beaten while gathering news in China:

*   On July 28th, a Shanghai based journalist from Japan’s Asahi Shimbun was beaten by police in Nantong while covering a demonstration. His equipment, worth several thousand dollars, was taken and has not been returned.

* On August 10th a reporter for Hong Kong’s Asia Television was assaulted by plain clothes police outside a courthouse in Hefei as he filmed members of the public being arrested.

* On August 11th, in Henan province a television crew from ARD German television was attacked by a mob, accused of being spies and forcibly detained for 9 hours at a chemical factory before police escorted them to their vehicles.

*   On August 13th two reporters from Poland and the United States reporting in Ordos were followed and intimidated by three cars and at least eight individuals in the middle of the night.

The FCC Hong Kong, FCCC and Shanghai FCC are alarmed by the nature and frequency of these incidents and the clear risk of serious physical harm to journalists merely carrying out their professional duties in China. We are particularly concerned that a number of these incidents have involved members of the official security forces and associated elements.

We call on the authorities at all levels to ensure that journalists are protected from violence and intimidation.

Foreign Correspondents' Club, Hong Kong
Foreign Correspondent's Club of China
Shanghai Foreign Correspondents' Club